So I realise it’s now been three days since I posted which is actually terrible seeing as my goal was to post everyday on this blog. But for the past few days, to be very honest, I have been feeling really exhausted and therefore demotivated to do anything. I had a big project (that I set for myself) that I began I was researching all about it every day because I loved the idea of it and I loved learning about it but for the past few days I haven’t done any research at all. Things just haven’t been going very well and it was what I learnt this Sunday morning that put perspective on things.
When you set out to do great things and improve your life by doing what you feel you’re called to do, doing what brings you the kind of joy you probably don’t remember ever feeling and helping others as well, things won’t always go to plan. You will come across barriers. It’ll be like having one of those days when everything feels like it’s going wrong but it’ll be a lot longer than just a day. I mean, this happens sometimes. Sometimes, you’re not going to be able to just get on with what you want to do. Things will happen and you may feel really demotivated. However, that doesn’t mean that what you were doing isn’t working. It means, it’s working all the more. Things try to come down on you and steer you off course when you’re on the right track so have the faith to keep going! Stand firm knowing that this is what you’re supposed to be doing and with faith, you’re motivation will come back. All you have to do is stand firm and remember to keep on going.
So that’s what I’m doing. Just typing up this post is a big step in carrying on what brings me a joy I don’t remember ever experiencing. Because, this blog is more than just a blog to me. It’s not just a way to pass the time. It’s the first step in the big picture of doing things that I want to do, reaching out to people and sharing with them and becoming more of the person that I’ve wanted to be for a long time. It all starts here.
Well, if I was to shed some light on what I’ve been going through in the past few days, I wouldn’t know how to without making it look like I’m complaining about everything in my life and I’m really not one to complain. One of the biggest problems that has caused my exhaustion in the days is that I have not been getting any sleep. I tried to sleep differently, on my back, to help my skin but I felt like my bed was so uncomfortable, I couldn’t get to sleep but I was so determined because my skin has been wrecking havoc on me recently and I would literally do anything to clear it up. Anything! I mean, the severity of it made me lose grip of the happiness I had newly found. I felt so so low yesterday. I think I know why it’s been so bad now and I plan to do a blog post on the reason so that other people can look out for that kind of stuff too. It also hasn’t helped that we’ve been having a heat wave, here in England, for the past few days. As much as I love the heat and the sun and how beautiful the season of summer is, I feel like I’ve literally have gotten heat exhaustion whenever I’ve gone outside for like 20 minutes. I get back to the house and I feel really exhausted and like my head is pounding for the rest of the day but I still don’t sleep no matter how much I want to. I mean, I truly wonder how people in hot countries get any sleep because whenever there’s a heat wave here, I don’t get any sleep! It’s just too hot to sleep. Do you ever have a migraine so bad, you feel like your head is going to explode? Because that’s how I felt yesterday for a seriously uncomfortable amount of hours. I mean, I suppose, the severity of the situation is down to my new hair cut (more on that later) and I should probably buy a hat, but I do not look good in hats. Hats for any kind of season do not suit me.
Another thing is that I’ve had absolutely no appetite for the past three days, even today. I don’t know if that’s to do with the heat exhaustion (probably not) or the lack of sleep. Usually, if you put food in front of me, I will eat every last bit of it but the other day, I made a really nice meal that I usually love but I was chewing so tiresomely. My appetite was none existent, I ended up not eating half of it which I must stress is totally not like me! So weird.
All in all, I’m coping with things. I’m okay. Thanks to words from this morning, I know to keep on going and that what I’m doing is the right thing. I just need to keep my faith and not give up. Things may come down on me but at least I know what it all means.