Not too long ago, it was my cousin’s 13th birthday and my family went to the Toby Carvery to celebrate it. There were a few of my cousins, a few Aunties, my mother and I. It was really nice. I love going out to dinner with friends or family but I especially have a great time when I’m with these cousins so I had a good time. We were there for a good few hours but the time went by so quickly. And there was this one point during our time at the carvery where the topic of Dads somehow came around, although not in a positive way, as in the past few years, three of my cousins’ (who are siblings) parents broke up and they no longer live with their dad. One of them made a joke about how often they’ve seen their dad that year (not much) and it turned out to be quite morbid. The topic of dad’s continued and as there was not one adult male sitting at the table, topics continued in that direction of complaint over how a lot of dad’s aren’t even there for their own children these days. It’s true and it’s really sad. I don’t understand how a man cannot give a damn about his own offspring. I don’t care if he didn’t carry them around for 9 months, they are still his, they share his chromosones and he has the opportunity to cultivate something great, to be a father.
But at the table, I must have been looking a little awkward without realising it because one of my cousins pointed this out and it helped to lighten the atmosphere of joking about how I must be thinking, “my dad’s fine.”
At another point, my Auntie was looking at a girl she know’s facebook and this girl had written many posts about all these things her boyfriend was doing for her and how he was so sweet and all this lovey dovey stuff. Then the two Auntie’s nearest to me, as well as my older cousin were talking about how annoying it was when people keep going on and on about their lovey dovey love life on facebook. Then my mother came in like, “leave the girl alone. She’s just sharing about her new relationship.” My older cousin went on to comically say, “You can tell which of us here is happily married.”
It’s true. I’m very blessed when it comes to family. Not a lot of people have this, especially these days and in this society. I’m blessed to know my parents don’t have marriage problems and that I have a secure family home. I was brought up this way and a lot of my friends were brought up that way but I do know some families that have shockingly broken up.
It’s Father’s Day (well for us in the UK, it’s the end of Father’s Day now) and I can say I’ve got a great dad. I’m not the greatest daughter in the world but he’s still helped me become a better person all these two decades. He’s always there to advise me and both of my parents have always been so amazingly supportive with everything I’ve ever wanted to do and helped me in reaching my dreams. Whether that was to be a ballet dancer (my dad did the research into applying and auditioning for ballet schools, did the paper work and took me to audition), to work with animals on a farm, to be an English teacher, to learning Korean and move across the world (my previous post, shows a glimpse of how he helped there. My dad was even willing to travel to Korea to make sure I settled in alright) and so much more.
Both my parents are really good at being parents and I don’t ever tell them this, which is why Father’s Day in particular (as opposed to Mothering Sunday) has got to be the most cringiest day of the year for me because it’s that one day in the year – as well as my dad’s birthday – where I give my dad a card with a long message talking about how great of a dad he is and how I hope he has a great Father’s Day (even though he probably usually doesn’t have a great Father’s Day because I’m kind of a lousy daughter) and then I go off and cringe like crazy because the entire concept is so cheesy to me. But it is of importance. It’s my one opportunity to kind of say, “thank you,” and say or write how I feel: that I’m so grateful and appreciative.
It really hit me a few nights ago how blessed I am. How my heavenly father has been right by my side my whole life and through all the events of my hard knock life, I’ve had family and family friends that have accepted me and supported me and prayed for me and like I said, that’s not as common as I would like for it to be.
I know Father’s Day isn’t considered as important as Mothering Sunday and sometimes it really feels like dad’s aren’t as appreciated as much as moms but it’s so important to treasure both parents. They gave us the greatest gift anyone could ever give: life. And some of us don’t have both a mom and a dad and that’s okay because we all have a heavenly father that is much better than any Earthly one can be. That’s the truth.
To all the fathers out there: Happy Father’s Day. Have a good one.